Friday, May 8, 2009

Natty Nettles Fashion - should pick up a few simple rules of dressing

Some of the attendees at the recent 44th Annual Academy of Country Music Awards in Las Vegas should pick up a few simple rules of dressing.

US actress Kaley Cuoco Agent GoaSS:
You don't need Eight Simple Rules Of dressing up to know that this look is bad.
Private Kinky: Staring at this caused me a headache. Aspirins, please!
Major Vintagenista: Cuoco's fashion sense is cuckoo!

US singer Taylor Swift Agent GoaSS:
Help! That shapeless dress is eating poor ol'Taylor!
Private Kinky: She has a tendency to dress old. This ensemble look like a casino tai tai.
Major Vintagenista: For someone so young, her style here is very outdated( completely different from last week's best outfit on this page).

US comedian Scott Thompson a.k.a.Carrot Top and a friend
Agent GoaSS: Carrot Top is becoming his own bad joke!
Private Kinky: A disservice to the "Eat More Carrots" campaign.
Major Vintage-nista: Ugly is too nice a word for this ensemble. Let's just focus on the friend instead.

US singer Jennifer Nettles of country music duo Sugarland
Agent GoaSS: Sweeeet!
Private Kinky: Jen, you give me a sugar rush. And I don't even need a Krispy Kreme.
Major Vintage-nista: A dress that hugs in all the right places.

US singer Kellie Pickler
Agent GoaSS: Pickler's mind must've been pickled when she picked this scaley horror.
Private Kinky: A reject from The Little
Mermaid: When Ariel Goes Mad.
Major Vintage-nista: Scales are not a good look unless you're a piano!

US singer Lee Ann Womack
Agent GoaSS: Mothers should just stay out of their teenage daughters'closet.
Private Kinky: Womack realised too late that the white bench was freshly painted.
Major Vintagenista: Some kids drew graffiti on her and she didn't even notice!

Officers on duty
Agent G-on-a-Shoes-String(GoaSS) gets high at the sight of a very rare pair of sneakers, as well as light-brown suede lace-up boots with stiletto heels. Prefers lace to leather (or, God forbid, PVC!), loves brights and whites and sometimes blacks, but puts the greys and earth tones back on the racks.
True to his name, Private Kinky is into experimenting when it comes to fashion, After all these years in the biz, he still wonders why it takes an incredible amount of money to make someone look cheap.
Major Vintage-nista believes three things: style is inborn, trends should be followed with caution, and a little retail therapy never killed anyone.